15 Signs You’re An Option, NOT A Priority


Do you repeatedly ask yourself questions like “Where is my relationship even heading?”, or “What the hell is my relationship status with him?”, or “Is she ever going to tell me she loves me?”.

Ah, you’re not alone! So many of us are trapped in relationships where we don’t understand what our partners exactly want from us.

Sometimes they make us feel extremely wanted, and just in the other instance, they act like we’re completely non-existent in their lives.

Let me tell you guys that it is not at all okay to be in such relationships. Accept the fact that the person you’re ready to do anything for, just treats you like an option and not a priority.

Don’t demean yourself by putting up with such a person. I remember the famous quote by Mark Twain where he says,

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

I understand it is never easy to give up on someone, especially when you love the person beyond everything. However, you must remember that self-respect and self-love is the most important thing for a person to live happily and with dignity.

Let go of toxic one-sided relationships! But hey, how do you find out whether your loved one values you or not?

I will tell you about the 15 signs that will prove that your partner treats you only like an option, and not a priority. See if you can relate to them:

15 Signs: You’re Not a Priority but Just an Option

1. You carve out all the plans

Are you seeing someone who never goes the extra mile to plan something for you, or give you random surprises? Sure, people are busy in this modern world, but if you’re truly loved, your partner would do anything to make you happy, even in the smallest way possible.

How is it for you? Do you feel you’re the only one planning things for him/her? Beware, cause it’s a sign! You may not be important enough to your partner and hence they never care to plan anything for you.

2. You’re the only one waiting

Whenever the person asks you to meet, you cancel all your plans and run after them. Even if he/she’s late, you patiently wait. What happens if it’s the other way around? Do they wait for you? Or do they always bail on you.

Are they there for you when you feel low or crave to meet them? If the answers to these questions are negative, then well, you’re only an option.

3. You adjust no matter what

Firstly, you’re unsure if you can call it a ‘relationship’ with him/her, and then you’re also ready for any kind of concessions that it brings along with it. You’re ready to wait, apologize, adjust to anything and everything when it comes to that person, but if he/she was asked to do the same, you know they’d never do the same for you.

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4. You’re not the only one

You know it clearly that you’re not the only one in his/her life. He/she hasn’t hidden this fact. More importantly they show it to you through their actions that you aren’t the most important person to them, and still you cling to them. Please realize, you’re just an option. Had he/she been yours, you’d be the ‘one and only’.

5. Their behavior flickers

Just when you reveal to them that you’re fed up with all the drama and you don’t want to see them again, they mold you like clay with their sweet sugar-coated words to have you back. However, once they win you over, they again return to their old ways in no time.

6. It’s never in the open

Is he always insisting on meeting you at your place or theirs, and negligent of making public appearances with you? Do you always have interactions be it physical or verbal only behind closed doors? Is he reluctant to hold your hand out in the open? Well then, you’re no one for him. You’re just an option perhaps, dear.

7. No response

Who doesn’t check their messages on the phone especially nowadays when the entire world is glued to their smartphones? Yes, once in a while they may be genuinely busy and may not respond immediately; however, if your phone calls, messages, DMs, and so on go unheard by them repeatedly, there lies a problem!

You know they must have checked your message via the notification bar, but they intentionally chose not to respond to you. You’re an option!

8. They take you for granted

You constantly feel and know that you always do extra for them, which they probably don’t even deserve. You realize that the person is merely taking advantage of your love and concern for him/her.

At such times, your instincts should be trusted. If you see it that they don’t care for you as much as you do, your intuition about the person merely using you is probably correct.

9. Excuses are such a thing for them

Whenever you talk to him/her of being together or taking the next step and calling it a relationship, the person changes the topic! He/she gives you a thousand reasons to not date each together.

Don’t you think if he/she really loved you, he/she’d go to any length to make you his/hers? Well, understand you’re not a priority. “When someone truly cares about you, they make an effort, not an excuse.”

10. They aren’t interested about your life

How many times have they asked you how your day was? Are they really interested in knowing how you feel about something? Can you share your inherent feelings with them as and when you like?

Do they even remember the small and personal details about you that you share with them? If the answers are negative, you my friend, are clearly an option and not a priority.

11. They’re bored

You see it in their face and through their actions that they’re bored around you, or at least they make you feel so. Why would you want to be with such a person who isn’t half as excited as you are when you are with them? They’d never be bored of you if they were really in love with you. Don’t you think?

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12. They act suspicious

You constantly feel that they’re trying to hide something from you because they act secretive. This leads you into always feeling suspicious of their actions and you are insecure about them.

13. They lie about things

He told you he had an appointment with a dentist, but your friend met him at the pub. She lied to you she can’t see you because her mom was sick, but in reality, she was attending an event somewhere else with someone else.

You see that they lie to you about the smallest of things, which sometimes you ward off as insignificant, but even the smallest of lies are after all ‘lies’. Don’t encourage them! They’d never hide or cover up for anything had you been a priority to them.

14. They don’t remember about your special events

Be it your birthday, your achievement day, or the like, your ‘special one’ couldn’t care lesser. They not only give your important days a miss, sometimes they cancel plans with you for their own agendas. Should you even give importance to such a person? I don’t think so.

15. You’re unhappy more than happy

The person gives you happiness only momentarily because most of the time you only feel depressed, helpless and lonely with his apathy and cold behavior. You’re more unhappy than happy with that person. Let go of such negativity, please?


Everybody makes mistakes in their relationships, but learning how to do when it is time to let go because of a lack of maturity is an important life lesson to learn. These are the 15 signs that show you’re not a priority for him, but probably just an option.

“Stop crossing oceans for people who won’t even jump a puddle for you”.


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