Behaviors of your partner that you should never tolerate
A relationship should always be based on love, compassion and compromise. However, often, relationships comprise of one partner compromising at all times, with the other going away scat free.
If you are in a relationship where you feel dissatisfied and notice any of these following traits, it is very important that you seek help and try to leave the relationship.
By understanding the different aspects of behavior that can point to a toxic relationship, you can understand when it is time to re-evaluate your situation.
1. If they do any form of domestic violence
Domestic violence is a sign that you need to get up and go. It is very important that you have an eye out for any type of aggressive behavior that is directed towards you or others and get out of any type of a dangerous situation before it is able to happen.
Physical violence is something you should absolutely not tolerate at any costs and call helplines to ask for help.
While physical violence is externally visible and can be more easily understood, we often fail to see signs of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse starts with them demeaning you and constantly trying to break you down at every chance they get. Emotional abuse leaves deeper scars that are invisible, but these are the scars that last the longest.
2. If they always control the finances
Even if in your relationship, one partner is making the most of the money that is flowing through the family, there should be a healthy discussion in the family on how the finances are being taken care of in your partnership.
If lose all control over the money and finances you share, chances are, you will lose control of a numerous other aspects of your life.
3. If they constantly try to change who you are
If you are self-confident and know yourself and who you are as an individual, in toxic relationships, you will find that you don’t really live up to their expectations. If you constantly have to defend who you are while your partner is trying to change you, it can lead to anxiety in yourself and you feeling like you don’t deserve it.
If your partner is trying to change the fundamentals of who you are, not so much asking you to go for a healthier diet or switching to a more active lifestyle, but body shaming you by pointing out your flaws, dictating how to dress, how to talk to people and how to act and behave, it is highly likely that even if you make those changes, they will not be satisfied and there will always be something else the next day.
If your partner is trying to change you, it is a red flag that you need to evaluate immediately.
4. If they have no interest in your life
One of the worst signs that can tick off all the red flags in a relationship is when your partner is constantly talking on and on about themselves.
A relationship has to be a two way street- if your partner is only interested in who they are or what they want or how their job is, how much money they have and their lives in general, without having any interest in talking about you, your hopes and dreams, your workplace and how your life is going, or having no interest in knowing, this is a dead pan sign of a one-sided relationship that is doomed to fail.
5. If they hiding you from their friends and family
This is one of the biggest red flags you can encounter in any relationship. If you have been with someone for some time and they haven’t introduced you to the majority of their friends or family members, there is a good chance that they are trying to hide their true feelings about the relationship from themselves and they do not see you as someone they want to go very far with.
6. If they often flirting with others
A number of times we end up justifying our partner’s behavior in order to protect ourselves from pain. If your partner often flirts with others, and if you find yourself trying to console yourself by saying that it is the type of person they are, or they are being friendly, it is a good sign that the relationship is in trouble.
Intentionally flirting with others is a voluntary and conscious choice people make and if they are doing it in front of you, it shows a lack of respect for you.
7. If they are incapable of keeping promises
The main foundation of any relationship is trust. One of the most important areas that you should not keep on tolerating in a relationship is a failure to keep important promises that they make to you.
This doesn’t mean that one time when they came home late even though they promised they would come early, but the promises that matter. Keeping promises is a sign that your partner respects you. If they intentionally choose to break it, they allow the trust to be broken and can cause the foundation to fall apart.
8. If you end up crying more than you laugh
While every relationship has its ups and downs, in any healthy and positive relationship, the good outweighs the bad and the laughs outweigh the tears. If your relationship is leaving you sad and unhappy most of the time, it is really necessary to reevaluate the situation you are in.
9. If they are constantly gaslighting you
Gaslighting refers to a situation where the partner is always trying to convince you that you are wrong or crazy. Gaslighting is very common in partners who are controlling by nature. This lets your partner isolate you from your family and friends and makes you doubt your own reality.
Examples include convincing you that you have fabricated proofs of any affairs, stealing your belongings and convinces you that you gave it away. They invalidate your anger at their behavior by calling it a joke and can have devastating effects on your mental health. It is very difficult to leave a gas lighter because of the self-doubt they create in you but with help, it is possible.
10. If they try and separate you from your friends
If your partner tries to isolate your friends who have been there since before your relationship started, it is a huge red flag. This can lead to controlling behavior, jealousy and insecurity for any interaction with others. They consciously try to keep people who will voice flaws and concerns.
11. If they are jealous without reason
While people often may have a past that isn’t optimal and can lead people to be jealous, if you are working hard to show your partner that you are trustworthy, they should not take that for granted.
If your partner is always jealous and accuses you of certain acts that you have no connection to, or if they are jealous without having absolutely no reason to be so, it is a red flag and you need to find the nearest exit to protect your sanity.
If your partner exhibits any of these behaviors, it is extremely important that you don’t keep on tolerating these behavioral patterns.
If you are noticing these behaviors, it is time to sit down and have a clear discussion regarding the matter before it goes too far. Paying attention to changes in behavior of your partner can help prevent you settling into a toxic relationship. Good luck.